Julie's Dating & Relationship Advice

"Not Well" or is it just an indirect No?

2007-10-04T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hi Julie,

I'm writing to you in an effort to bring into focus a recent relationship that started with a dinner date. She is a really great and nice person, and we have many things in common. Chemistry was there from the start and we spent a super evening together over dinner. Even so, she seems to be saying no in an indirect way. The last two weekends, when I asked her if she wanted to go out again the response was "I'm not feeling well- maybe next weekend." This weekend past we were going to do a movie and that morning I got a "short" call from her that was basically "...last nite was not that great for me...sorry I've got to cancel."

Even though I've known her only a short time she seems to be very "real" and a nice person. What do you think is happening here? My reaction now is just to stay quiet and not bother her- if she's interested at all she will contact me- right?

Any ideas Julie...

I really don't like this game playing thing and wish people would be more direct. I'm inclined to just call and ask her directly- interested or not?

Thanks in advance-
B.

Dear B,

It sounds to me like this woman is probably not interested in going further with you. People have a really hard time being honest when it comes to saying "I'm not interested anymore." Understandably, they are hesitant to either hurt the man's feelings or they are trying to avoid a confrontation. This, of course, is the same problem that men have when they are no longer interested. That's why it is so important to be able to "read the signs." That said, it is possible that she is going through something right now that has nothing to do with you. My suggestion is, leave her a message saying, sincerely, that you enjoyed getting to know her and suggest, nicely, that she give you a call when she wants to get together again. Then don't call her again. It it's meant to be, you'll hear from her. In the meantime, keep busy, go out and have fun-you sound like a great guy and you'll have no problem meeting someone else special real soon!

Sincerely,

Julie

Table For Six Total Adventures In The News

2007-05-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

Table For Six Total Adventures Getting Some Really Great Exposure in the News and on TV recently!

We are very proud to let you know that there have been several new TV & internet news stories produced about Table For Six Total Adventures!

Drumroll Please.....

Table For Six Total Adventures On ABC7 - The View From The Bay!
You can see the video feed from our new video gallery! This video was shot last July (I know, not exacly recent...) but it is a great piece about Table For Six Total Adventures' Successful 3 Man - 3 Woman dinner parties in the San Francisco Bay Area!

In March, Table For Six Total Adventures was featured on NBC 4 Your LA TV! This is a wonderful video shot in Los Angeles at the trendy Chat Noir Club. We have two Table FOr SIx Dinners Taht Night hosted by our beautiful Dining Director Katie. It's really nice because you can see that all the folks at the table are having a really good time!

Most Recently, A print interview with Dating Expert Julie Paiva, the Founder and CEO of Table For Six Total Adventures published in People Search News

We have many more videos available for viewing on our website! Please visit our Video Gallery and let us know what you think!

Julie
www.tableforsix.com
When our story is told, and it will be told, people will say "Today we have witnessed love. How can our lives not be bettered by this?"

Where your attention goes, love flows…

2007-02-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

Where Your Attention Goes, Love Flows…

Many single people dread Valentine’s Day, as it comes around. The romance and flowers sometimes reminds them of what they want in most in their lives but do not have such as: a loving and meaningful relationship. But what is not as obvious is that Valentine’s Day is an amazing opportunity to get closer to the love they want!

Everything in life is affected by the Law of Attraction. Julie Paiva, founder and CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures says, “You attract everything into your life experience-bad and good. The more you focus your energy on something, the more power you give it. The Law of Attraction says that “which is like unto itself is drawn.” This means that you can only attract into your life the emotions and feelings you are giving out. So if you are giving out the feelings of “lack of relationship,” then you can only get “lack of relationship.” When you imagine the relationship you will have, then you give more power to that feeling and you will be able to attract that into your life. The more you focus your intention getting a meaningful relationship, the faster it will come into your life, because now you are in alignment with the feelings of what you want.” You can’t turn your radio station to 95.2 and expect to get 105.7. You can not get the relationship you want by focusing on the fact that you don’t have it yet! You must feel the feelings as if you do have the love you want by visualizing it and surrounding yourself by things that bring you closer to the feeling of having that love in your life.

Valentine’s Day is filled with images of love and relationship and it is a perfect opportunity to start focusing on love coming into your life. And when the opportunity to go towards love presents itself, take it! It is not enough just to focus on love, but you must also follow the intuitive nudge inside to go towards opportunities for love when they present themselves.

The truth is that everyone deserves a loving and meaningful relationship. There are 6.5 billion people on earth and it only takes one person! So this Valentine’s Day, use the flowers and romance as images to get you thinking and feeling into the relationship that you want to bring into your life. If you stay in that good feeling place, opportunities to find love will come into your life and the only thing you have to do is follow the internal nudge and take advantage of those opportunities. You are already one step closer to the love you want!

Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; The premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680. Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: http://www.tableforsix.com/

Valentine's day on the Cheap? You bet!

2007-02-13T13:17:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day on the Cheap? You bet!

"Wondering how to impress your Valentine this year with little cash and get her
undying love?" Its easy" says Julie Paiva, founder and CEO of the popular dating
and social club, Table For Six Total Adventures, " just always remember woman
want and need to know that you're really thinking of her, and how to make her
happy! Try these ideas- and watch your Valentine melt!"

Put a goldfish in an inexpensive fishbowl with a heart card saying "you're the only fish in the sea for me!"
Re-visit the place you had your first kiss, or the place you first said "I love you"-bring a blanket and a bottle of wine.
Write "I love you " on her bed with hundreds of colored m&m's candy.
Create a trail of hersey chocolate kisses with lots of little coupons saying things like " free massage ", "will walk your dog","pick up dry cleaning" and "bring your lunch to work" all around her apartment.
Make a playlist on her Ipod with all her favorite songs.

With a little bit of cash and a little bit of creativity, you can make your Valentine swoon this Valentine's day!

Best Regards,
Julie Paiva
Table for Six Total Adventures

Ask Julie: Dating and Relationship Advice

2005-11-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

Should I Cancel This Date?

Hi Julie,

Recently I met a fellow and he asked for my number and shortly thereafter we went to dinner. Later he called and asked if I wanted to go to the symphony on the 21st of March, and he wanted to go to the show this week. I said I would have to get back to him about the show since I was driving in the car and had to call a girlfriend to check if we were going to Tahoe as previously planned. I said I would like to go to the symphony.

When I got home that evening I realized I had signed up for “Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat” on the 21st of March; in fact, I had mentioned this to him twice, once at the 1st dinner and also at the 2nd dinner date; and with much excitement since I was looking forward to it. The next morning I called him to tell him that I had been registered for this play, and could not make it to the show this week. He said that he had already purchased the tickets for the symphony, so I responded that I would try to cancel the play, which I did.

I woke up the next morning with the feeling that I was being manipulated. I don’t know if the 21st date was just a coincidence, or was intentional. I don’t want to be a poop and cancel if the gentleman had really purchased the tickets already, however, I have this strong feeling of being manipulated. I won’t date this man after the symphony even if I do attend with him.

Please share your opinion whether I should cancel the date or not.

Thanks,

Sharon

Dear Sharon,

First rule in dating- be true to yourself and follow your instincts, and act on them. It’s difficult for me to tell you to cancel on this fellow at this time. However, I urge you in the future to remain true to yourself. You already had tickets to something you were more excited about- I’m very curious why you would have cancelled your plans in the first place. Now, you’ve got yourself in a sticky wicket. In the future, do remember nobody manipulates us without our permission.

Sincerely,

Julie

Ask Julie: Dating and Relationship Advice

2005-11-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

Dating Etiquette

Dear Julie,

I've been dating this wonderful man for a month. We talk on the phone every day and we see each other as often as we can. He said he wants to date me exclusively. I feel the same. Most of the time, he pays the bill when we go out. I have offered to pay a couple of times and he has appreciated that gesture. The relationship seems to be moving forward. He is already talking about traveling to Europe together. I don't feel comfortable with that idea even though it would be very romantic. I don't want things to get too serious too fast. He just came out of a relationship two months ago. He said the relationship was already over when he decided to end it. I have a couple of questions:Am I expected to offer to pay for my share of a dinner/movie etc. I find this not very romantic. Should I offer to pay for dinners/movies etc more often? What is the best approach to this issue? Do you think I should bring this issue up with him or is it a no-no? What advice do you have for someone who is dating a man who has recently ended a relationship? Why does he want to move so fast with our relationship? Should I be careful?

Thanks for your time in answering this e-mail.

Regards,

Maria

Hi Maria,

I appreciate your concern with this man moving fast. However, when men know what they want, they do move fast - remember, they are not process but goal-oriented-so when they want something, they go for it. Now, many men are considered to be afraid to make a commitment. This is very misunderstood - actually, men are not afraid of commitment, they are afraid of failure! But, clearly, you have a man who is not- so I would enjoy- IF you want to make a commitment to make a commitment to him! Now, as for the pay issue: my advice is to let him pay for everything, however, on a fairly regular basis, invite him for dinner at your place, tell him you are treating him to the movies and dinner etc… This is a much more gracious and romantic way to share financial burden. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Julie

Ask Julie: Dating and Relationship Advice

2005-11-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Julie,

I met someone who I thought was interesting over the weekend. I thought we made some connection and before she left, I asked her for her phone number and without hesitation she gave it to me. Needless to say, I called her and left a message asking if she would be interested in “hooking-up” again for dinner and a movie. It’s been a week and I haven’t heard a peep from her. Now, I’m beginning to question whether me saying “hooking-up” could mean something other that what I intended it for and thus sending the wrong message. I have learned from a female co-worker that asking a woman to dinner on a first date will scare them away. I’m curious if there’s any truth to that. I like to think that she was not interested in me but I fear that it’s all of the above. Obviously, I have no clue and I’m still reading the intro pages to “Men are from Mars…” Please sign me up for your next therapy session on “Making That Call.”

Sincerely yours,

Rick

Dear Rick,

It’s a tough time to be a guy, isn’t it? Everything is so PC today. However, given that, I don’t really believe that asking a woman out for a dinner on a first date is going to scare them away; one might say that if you suggested a cup of coffee etc…you would be considered cheap! So, it’s not that. As for using the words “hooking up,” I also doubt that that was a problem; still I would recommend “getting together” in the future. It is always difficult in this crazy single’s world we live in to really know why a woman (or man for that matter) doesn’t call back. I would give it one more chance. Good luck and let me know what happened!

Sincerely,

Julie

Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; The premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680.

Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: www.tableforsix.com

The Importance of Being Your Authentic Self

2005-10-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

Being your Authentic Self - When you’re with someone you feel comfortable with, you can be your authentic self.

Think to yourself "No one can hurt me because I’m always here with me." You can take emotional risks because you’re always with you- you’re always safe, and always here with you.

Create a Life you love - Love your life- even if its just always having fresh flowers, or lighting candles in your home. Comfort yourself, challenge yourself, take care of yourself. Cherish your friends, send them little cards, have dinner parties!

Think about the Qualities you want in a partner - Be that also.
- Sense of humor; don’t take yourself too seriously - don’t judge yourself or others harshly.
- Listening - Are you really listening to others? Without judging – or “finding the solutions?”
- Be Active in Life - Are you active? Create a True Reading on where you are today or where you want to be mind, body and spirit– then Practice, Practice being who you want to be. Practice makes perfect.
Take inventory of your self physically- without being too harsh- do you want to…

Lose Weight – get in shape?
Get a makeover; new make-up or haircut?
Wear more flattering clothes? Whatever you want in a mate should be at least what you see in the mirror.

Mentally / Spiritually Practice being more positive.
- Keep learning; Read newspapers, including business and sports page. (You want your partner to be interested in your things- be interested in theirs.).
- If you want a partner who’s into the Arts- go to theater, museums.
- Get curious - stay curious; be aware of the world. Read current Best Sellers, People Magazine, Time, and Newsweek.
- Be positive; Practice not talking negatively about people, etc...
Be the type of person that you seek; are you looking for a kind, loyal, understanding partner? Look for these qualities in yourself also.

The same goes for finances. Get your financial house in order if you want to meet someone that is financially stable.

When you do meet that special one and begin a relationship- continue to be the person that your partner was attracted to. Continue to see your friends, enjoy your hobbies, and fulfill your career goals. Your partner should be the whip cream on the cake - Not the cake!

So many people rely on their partner to make them happy, content, and fulfilled. Yet a healthy, long lasting relationship can be a strong foundation in which you can fly!

Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; the premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680.

Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: www.tableforsix.com

Julie's 15 Dating Tips on Creating and Maintaining Love Connections

2005-10-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Visualize and "act as if" each person you meet really "gets you" - in other words, really understands you.
Make a decision to make each person you meet feel really comfortable. This will alleviate any nervousness you’re feeling. Think of yourself as a gracious, charming host/hostess wherever you are.
For the next 30 days concentrate on really liking the opposite sex - thinking of each one as a safe ally.
Become your own best cheerleader and your own best friend - this will aid you towards "flourishing" in a relationship, not "needing" a relationship.
Always speak well of your family & friends-conversely avoid a partner who speaks poorly of their friends and family.
The most exciting person to be around is the person who is excited about their life-be positive and optimistic about your life.
Look for commonalties, not differences-if we all knew what our "type" was, we wouldn’t be alone. Look for similarities, enjoy contrasts and be more open-minded.
Never give up all your friends and outside interests for your partner. It’s important to keep the multi-dimensional features that made you attractive initially.
Treat your partner with kindness & respect. Never take each other for granted - be best friends.
Develop and demonstrate a real interest and support for your partner’s career, friends & family.
Your partner need not know everything about you . Keep a little mystique.
Get in the habit of always putting your partner in the very best light- give them the benefit of the doubt and concentrate on what works, not on what doesn’t work.
Minimize arguments and confrontations by avoiding the blaming word "you", as in "you made me late for work." Rather, use "building bridges" words as in "let’s figure out a new way to mange our morning schedules." Think and act as a team.
Avoid treating your partner like a child, no one wants another mother. They are not your project!
Laugh. Together. A lot.

Visit the Table for Six Total Advetures™ website at: www.tableforsix.com