"Not Well" or is it just an indirect No?
Hi Julie,
I'm writing to you in an effort to bring into focus a recent relationship that started with a dinner date. She is a really great and nice person, and we have many things in common. Chemistry was there from the start and we spent a super evening together over dinner. Even so, she seems to be saying no in an indirect way. The last two weekends, when I asked her if she wanted to go out again the response was "I'm not feeling well- maybe next weekend." This weekend past we were going to do a movie and that morning I got a "short" call from her that was basically "...last nite was not that great for me...sorry I've got to cancel."
Even though I've known her only a short time she seems to be very "real" and a nice person. What do you think is happening here? My reaction now is just to stay quiet and not bother her- if she's interested at all she will contact me- right?
Any ideas Julie...
I really don't like this game playing thing and wish people would be more direct. I'm inclined to just call and ask her directly- interested or not?
Thanks in advance-
B.
Dear B,
It sounds to me like this woman is probably not interested in going further with you. People have a really hard time being honest when it comes to saying "I'm not interested anymore." Understandably, they are hesitant to either hurt the man's feelings or they are trying to avoid a confrontation. This, of course, is the same problem that men have when they are no longer interested. That's why it is so important to be able to "read the signs." That said, it is possible that she is going through something right now that has nothing to do with you. My suggestion is, leave her a message saying, sincerely, that you enjoyed getting to know her and suggest, nicely, that she give you a call when she wants to get together again. Then don't call her again. It it's meant to be, you'll hear from her. In the meantime, keep busy, go out and have fun-you sound like a great guy and you'll have no problem meeting someone else special real soon!
Sincerely,
Julie
I'm writing to you in an effort to bring into focus a recent relationship that started with a dinner date. She is a really great and nice person, and we have many things in common. Chemistry was there from the start and we spent a super evening together over dinner. Even so, she seems to be saying no in an indirect way. The last two weekends, when I asked her if she wanted to go out again the response was "I'm not feeling well- maybe next weekend." This weekend past we were going to do a movie and that morning I got a "short" call from her that was basically "...last nite was not that great for me...sorry I've got to cancel."
Even though I've known her only a short time she seems to be very "real" and a nice person. What do you think is happening here? My reaction now is just to stay quiet and not bother her- if she's interested at all she will contact me- right?
Any ideas Julie...
I really don't like this game playing thing and wish people would be more direct. I'm inclined to just call and ask her directly- interested or not?
Thanks in advance-
B.
Dear B,
It sounds to me like this woman is probably not interested in going further with you. People have a really hard time being honest when it comes to saying "I'm not interested anymore." Understandably, they are hesitant to either hurt the man's feelings or they are trying to avoid a confrontation. This, of course, is the same problem that men have when they are no longer interested. That's why it is so important to be able to "read the signs." That said, it is possible that she is going through something right now that has nothing to do with you. My suggestion is, leave her a message saying, sincerely, that you enjoyed getting to know her and suggest, nicely, that she give you a call when she wants to get together again. Then don't call her again. It it's meant to be, you'll hear from her. In the meantime, keep busy, go out and have fun-you sound like a great guy and you'll have no problem meeting someone else special real soon!
Sincerely,
Julie
Labels: dating, dinner date, read the signs, Relationship