"Not Well" or is it just an indirect No?

Hi Julie,

I'm writing to you in an effort to bring into focus a recent relationship that started with a dinner date. She is a really great and nice person, and we have many things in common. Chemistry was there from the start and we spent a super evening together over dinner. Even so, she seems to be saying no in an indirect way. The last two weekends, when I asked her if she wanted to go out again the response was "I'm not feeling well- maybe next weekend." This weekend past we were going to do a movie and that morning I got a "short" call from her that was basically "...last nite was not that great for me...sorry I've got to cancel."

Even though I've known her only a short time she seems to be very "real" and a nice person. What do you think is happening here? My reaction now is just to stay quiet and not bother her- if she's interested at all she will contact me- right?

Any ideas Julie...

I really don't like this game playing thing and wish people would be more direct. I'm inclined to just call and ask her directly- interested or not?

Thanks in advance-
B.


Dear B,

It sounds to me like this woman is probably not interested in going further with you. People have a really hard time being honest when it comes to saying "I'm not interested anymore." Understandably, they are hesitant to either hurt the man's feelings or they are trying to avoid a confrontation. This, of course, is the same problem that men have when they are no longer interested. That's why it is so important to be able to "read the signs." That said, it is possible that she is going through something right now that has nothing to do with you. My suggestion is, leave her a message saying, sincerely, that you enjoyed getting to know her and suggest, nicely, that she give you a call when she wants to get together again. Then don't call her again. It it's meant to be, you'll hear from her. In the meantime, keep busy, go out and have fun-you sound like a great guy and you'll have no problem meeting someone else special real soon!

Sincerely,

Julie

Where your attention goes, love flows…

Where Your Attention Goes, Love Flows…

Many single people dread Valentine’s Day, as it comes around. The romance and flowers sometimes reminds them of what they want in most in their lives but do not have such as: a loving and meaningful relationship. But what is not as obvious is that Valentine’s Day is an amazing opportunity to get closer to the love they want!

Everything in life is affected by the Law of Attraction. Julie Paiva, founder and CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures says, “You attract everything into your life experience-bad and good. The more you focus your energy on something, the more power you give it. The Law of Attraction says that “which is like unto itself is drawn.” This means that you can only attract into your life the emotions and feelings you are giving out. So if you are giving out the feelings of “lack of relationship,” then you can only get “lack of relationship.” When you imagine the relationship you will have, then you give more power to that feeling and you will be able to attract that into your life. The more you focus your intention getting a meaningful relationship, the faster it will come into your life, because now you are in alignment with the feelings of what you want.” You can’t turn your radio station to 95.2 and expect to get 105.7. You can not get the relationship you want by focusing on the fact that you don’t have it yet! You must feel the feelings as if you do have the love you want by visualizing it and surrounding yourself by things that bring you closer to the feeling of having that love in your life.

Valentine’s Day is filled with images of love and relationship and it is a perfect opportunity to start focusing on love coming into your life. And when the opportunity to go towards love presents itself, take it! It is not enough just to focus on love, but you must also follow the intuitive nudge inside to go towards opportunities for love when they present themselves.

The truth is that everyone deserves a loving and meaningful relationship. There are 6.5 billion people on earth and it only takes one person! So this Valentine’s Day, use the flowers and romance as images to get you thinking and feeling into the relationship that you want to bring into your life. If you stay in that good feeling place, opportunities to find love will come into your life and the only thing you have to do is follow the internal nudge and take advantage of those opportunities. You are already one step closer to the love you want!

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Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; The premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680. Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: http://www.tableforsix.com/