The Importance of Being Your Authentic Self

• Being your Authentic Self - When you’re with someone you feel comfortable with, you can be your authentic self.


• Think to yourself "No one can hurt me because I’m always here with me." You can take emotional risks because you’re always with you- you’re always safe, and always here with you.


• Create a Life you love - Love your life- even if its just always having fresh flowers, or lighting candles in your home. Comfort yourself, challenge yourself, take care of yourself. Cherish your friends, send them little cards, have dinner parties!


• Think about the Qualities you want in a partner - Be that also.
  
  • Sense of humor; don’t take yourself too seriously - don’t judge yourself or others harshly.
    
  • Listening - Are you really listening to others? Without judging – or “finding the solutions?”
    
  • Be Active in Life - Are you active? Create a True Reading on where you are today or where you want to be mind, body and spirit– then Practice, Practice being who you want to be. Practice makes perfect.
• Take inventory of your self physically- without being too harsh- do you want to…
  
• Lose Weight – get in shape?
• Get a makeover; new make-up or haircut?
• Wear more flattering clothes? Whatever you want in a mate should be at least what you see in the mirror.
• Mentally / Spiritually Practice being more positive.
  
  • Keep learning; Read newspapers, including business and sports page. (You want your partner to be interested in your things- be interested in theirs.).
    
  • If you want a partner who’s into the Arts- go to theater, museums.
    
  • Get curious - stay curious; be aware of the world. Read current Best Sellers, People Magazine, Time, and Newsweek.
    
  • Be positive; Practice not talking negatively about people, etc...
• Be the type of person that you seek; are you looking for a kind, loyal, understanding partner? Look for these qualities in yourself also.


• The same goes for finances. Get your financial house in order if you want to meet someone that is financially stable.


• When you do meet that special one and begin a relationship- continue to be the person that your partner was attracted to. Continue to see your friends, enjoy your hobbies, and fulfill your career goals. Your partner should be the whip cream on the cake - Not the cake!


• So many people rely on their partner to make them happy, content, and fulfilled. Yet a healthy, long lasting relationship can be a strong foundation in which you can fly!

Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; the premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680.

Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: www.tableforsix.com

Julie's 15 Dating Tips on Creating and Maintaining Love Connections

1. Visualize and "act as if" each person you meet really "gets you" - in other words, really understands you.
   
2. Make a decision to make each person you meet feel really comfortable. This will alleviate any nervousness you’re feeling. Think of yourself as a gracious, charming host/hostess wherever you are.
   
3. For the next 30 days concentrate on really liking the opposite sex - thinking of each one as a safe ally.
   
4. Become your own best cheerleader and your own best friend - this will aid you towards "flourishing" in a relationship, not "needing" a relationship.
   
5. Always speak well of your family & friends-conversely avoid a partner who speaks poorly of their friends and family.
   
6. The most exciting person to be around is the person who is excited about their life-be positive and optimistic about your life.
   
7. Look for commonalties, not differences-if we all knew what our "type" was, we wouldn’t be alone. Look for similarities, enjoy contrasts and be more open-minded.
   
8. Never give up all your friends and outside interests for your partner. It’s important to keep the multi-dimensional features that made you attractive initially.
   
9. Treat your partner with kindness & respect. Never take each other for granted - be best friends.
   
10. Develop and demonstrate a real interest and support for your partner’s career, friends & family.
    
11. Your partner need not know everything about you . Keep a little mystique.
    
12. Get in the habit of always putting your partner in the very best light- give them the benefit of the doubt and concentrate on what works, not on what doesn’t work.
    
13. Minimize arguments and confrontations by avoiding the blaming word "you", as in "you made me late for work." Rather, use "building bridges" words as in "let’s figure out a new way to mange our morning schedules." Think and act as a team.
    
14. Avoid treating your partner like a child, no one wants another mother. They are not your project!
    
15. Laugh. Together. A lot.

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Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; The premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680.

Visit the Table for Six Total Advetures™ website at: www.tableforsix.com