Ask Julie: Dating and Relationship Advice
Dating Etiquette
Dear Julie,
I've been dating this wonderful man for a month. We talk on the phone every day and we see each other as often as we can. He said he wants to date me exclusively. I feel the same. Most of the time, he pays the bill when we go out. I have offered to pay a couple of times and he has appreciated that gesture. The relationship seems to be moving forward. He is already talking about traveling to Europe together. I don't feel comfortable with that idea even though it would be very romantic. I don't want things to get too serious too fast. He just came out of a relationship two months ago. He said the relationship was already over when he decided to end it. I have a couple of questions:Am I expected to offer to pay for my share of a dinner/movie etc. I find this not very romantic. Should I offer to pay for dinners/movies etc more often? What is the best approach to this issue? Do you think I should bring this issue up with him or is it a no-no? What advice do you have for someone who is dating a man who has recently ended a relationship? Why does he want to move so fast with our relationship? Should I be careful?
Thanks for your time in answering this e-mail.
Regards,
Maria
Hi Maria,
I appreciate your concern with this man moving fast. However, when men know what they want, they do move fast - remember, they are not process but goal-oriented-so when they want something, they go for it. Now, many men are considered to be afraid to make a commitment. This is very misunderstood - actually, men are not afraid of commitment, they are afraid of failure! But, clearly, you have a man who is not- so I would enjoy- IF you want to make a commitment to make a commitment to him! Now, as for the pay issue: my advice is to let him pay for everything, however, on a fairly regular basis, invite him for dinner at your place, tell him you are treating him to the movies and dinner etc… This is a much more gracious and romantic way to share financial burden. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Julie
Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; The premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680. Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: http://www.tableforsix.com/
Dear Julie,
I've been dating this wonderful man for a month. We talk on the phone every day and we see each other as often as we can. He said he wants to date me exclusively. I feel the same. Most of the time, he pays the bill when we go out. I have offered to pay a couple of times and he has appreciated that gesture. The relationship seems to be moving forward. He is already talking about traveling to Europe together. I don't feel comfortable with that idea even though it would be very romantic. I don't want things to get too serious too fast. He just came out of a relationship two months ago. He said the relationship was already over when he decided to end it. I have a couple of questions:Am I expected to offer to pay for my share of a dinner/movie etc. I find this not very romantic. Should I offer to pay for dinners/movies etc more often? What is the best approach to this issue? Do you think I should bring this issue up with him or is it a no-no? What advice do you have for someone who is dating a man who has recently ended a relationship? Why does he want to move so fast with our relationship? Should I be careful?
Thanks for your time in answering this e-mail.
Regards,
Maria
Hi Maria,
I appreciate your concern with this man moving fast. However, when men know what they want, they do move fast - remember, they are not process but goal-oriented-so when they want something, they go for it. Now, many men are considered to be afraid to make a commitment. This is very misunderstood - actually, men are not afraid of commitment, they are afraid of failure! But, clearly, you have a man who is not- so I would enjoy- IF you want to make a commitment to make a commitment to him! Now, as for the pay issue: my advice is to let him pay for everything, however, on a fairly regular basis, invite him for dinner at your place, tell him you are treating him to the movies and dinner etc… This is a much more gracious and romantic way to share financial burden. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Julie
Julie Paiva is the Founder & CEO of Table for Six Total Adventures™; The premier northern California singles dining and matchmaking social club. Julie is a recognized dating/relationship expert and Image Consultant, and is available for individualized coaching. For appointments call 415-782-0680. Visit the Table for Six Total Adventures™ website at: http://www.tableforsix.com/
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